Not quite where I wanted to be …

Oh, certainly, there are many joys in life:

driving with a full tank of gas
paying the bills on time and having some money left over
walking along the lakeside on a cold clear day with a dear four legged friend
waking up without an alarm clock next to my love’s warm body
tapping my fingers on this keyboard wondering who will be reading

Ask me to make a list of joys, and we’ll be here for days. I am thinking of positive things in my life that make me blissfully happy because in reality this week has not been a happy one. I did not loose weight but I did not gain, maybe I should add that to the list.

The thing is … I am not on a diet. I want to change my life. So it is okay because I will keep going. It is what I do. I have been broken before and probably will be again, but it is who I am when I keep going that makes me strong. Yes it has taken me till Friday to be “okay” with not loosing anything last week, but I am here staying strong.

So I want this to be more than my journey to lose weight, yes, I do have a life outside of being fat. This is the year where I celebrate being me and trying to accept all of my flaws. Oh, 2008. You are my 27th year on this earth — I’ll be officially 27 on the 6th – and I can’t tell you how happy I am to meet you. Every year that I have met in this life, I love even more. Each year is more forgiving, a little kinder, a lot sloppier, and far more filled with joy than the year before.