family, stalking, rewards and more

so many feelings. so many hormones. a list is in order.

1.  family drama is awful.  ridiculous.  i won’t get into details here or anywhere else.  that is not my nature.  what is my nature is to defend myself.  my character has been bashed.  my intentions have been lied about. the truth hasn’t been told. i am hurt not only by the person doing and saying things to everyone that will listen but also by the people who find it so easy to think the worst of me.  i am over it all.  just because you share blood does not mean you are immune from the consequences of your actions.

2.  why do people gossip hate about me and expect i won’t hear about it? if you think i am a horrible person then please do everyone a favor and STOP reading my blog.  stop logging on as other family members on facebook to see what i am saying and doing.  i am not talking about you.  i am not thinking about you.  this blog is for me.  it only makes me pity you. if you don’t want to be apart of my life then stop stalking me. 103 times in 6 days is a bit much.  it is sad really.

3.  i am so incredibly angry that i am having to deal with THIS instead of focusing on healing.  shame on everyone involved.  i stated in an earlier post that you learn a lot about people in times of loss.  it is absolutely shameful.

4.  i am trying so very hard to spend each one of my days being positive.  it is so easy to get sucked away into a dark hole and not want to come out.  i am doing well.  i have a TON of support from family and friends.  i have been to the gym 3 days out of the 4 and on the day i didn’t go to the gym i got yelled at by jillian.  i am counting calories.  i am doing well and moving forward.

5.  i am reluctantly excited about a new gluten free product.  i love “the view.”  i don’t love elisabeth hasselbeck.  not just because she is super, super republican.  i actually love the debates and she definitely knows her stuff.  i just find her a bit annoying.  and a HUGE pet peeve of mine is calling Celiac Disease a “diet.”  which she does.  BUT her protein bars are amazingly delicious. i can’t help but love them.  and they really do satisfy the hunger.  dammit.  click on picture to take you to amazon for purchase.  because they are really that good.

6.  i really want to drink my protein shakes with water.  but it so far grosses me out.  i will continue with skim milk until my taste buds can adjust.  or i find a better protein shake mix. any suggestions?
7.  rewards.  i have never tried the reward system for weight loss.  (i have tried everything else!)  so here we go.  30 pound increments.  30 pounds is doable and definitely an accomplishment.  it isn’t too overwhelming to get discouraged.  first 30 pounds fenway park!
click on picture for source.

8.  the chickens are officially roosting at night.  it is the most precious thing i have ever seen.

9.  martha stewart came inside with hot pink paint on her fur around her ear.  i can not make this up!  i have NO IDEA where she found it.  i think she rubbed up against some wild strawberries but it is still there.  apparently she wanted to match her mama’s newly pink hair.

10.  list over.  i am going to enjoy my nogii bar and continue to clean the house.  cleaning does a soul good. 

naomi runner buddy
naomi runner buddy

Oh, and by the way, you are good enough now,for any reward. Read Women, Food, and God. It changed my life. Finally, if you need to do rewards, 30 pounds is too high. 10 is better. I know.

naomi runner buddy
naomi runner buddy

Why do you think you need a protein drink? Why not eat real food? Said in love only. Because I love you. We should get together dammit.


So sorry you are having to deal with all of this. I'm just getting caught up on all of your posts. I'm thinking about you and sending you lots of positive vibes. :)And about family...ugh...all I can say is thank goodness we get to choose our friends.