day 4, saying goodbye and looking ahead.

our last day in boston was bittersweet.  i wasn’t ready to leave.  i was super excited to go home and see our pups and mr. milo.  and to sleep in my own bed.  i didn’t do everything i wanted to do.  i wasn’t ready to have my hair poof up in the humidity that is where i live.  (best hair days of my life were in boston!)

we decided to hit up our favorite spots and to be in the present on our last day.  we headed to an italian restaurant where any pizza and pasta can be made to be gluten free.  we ate outside.  my favorite thing to do.  is it just me or does food taste better when eating outside in the sunshine?

then we headed to our favorite spot in the park.  we sat.  we enjoyed the music.  we enjoyed the sunshine.  we enjoyed each other.

we talked about what these past three months have meant to us.  to our relationship.  what the future holds.  we talked about our next reward trip.  new goals.

moving forward is hard.  i sometimes remember that i have had multiple miscarriages and it breaks me.  i have been able to focus on moving forward so fiercely that sometimes i forget.  well, not so much forget, but don’t think about.  it isn’t in the front of my thinking.

there are so many layers of emotion when making huge changes in life.  going through those is actually where i am growing.  cutting calories, working out, making healthy portions are changing my health and my appearance.  but going through miscarriages, having that loss.  learning how to put my trust in my partner, completely.  accepting that i am not a bad person for not crying and feeling sad everyday.  these are my biggest challenges moving forward.

luckily, i am.  i have a new reward trip planned (to be revealed on monday!).  new goals.  and a husband who is now on board with some goals of his own.  a little competition never hurt anyone, right?