take two.

last week was suppose to be my week back on track.  nope.  did not happen.  i don’t know why i thought it would.  why i thought three days after our third miscarriage i would be up for running and eating the same greens i had bought when i was pregnant.

everyday i woke up with the best intentions.  at lunch i would go to the refrigerator and just stare at the huge bag of kale i had bought for “brain development.”  and it just didn’t happen.  instead i grabbed a bag of chips. or ice cream.  yes. lots of ice cream was downed this past week.

moral of the story.  it is a new week.  a new day.  so take two.

i did weigh in this morning.  gained one more pound.  twenty pounds away from 100.

somewhere. somehow. the clouds in my brain have shifted and i started to see the sun again this weekend.  (plus actually seeing the sun helped!)  the husband and i had amazing “life goal” talks.  we shared our feelings and thoughts about this struggle.  i truly feel like i can reach for the kale today and make a smoothie.  make some kale chips.  boil an egg.  make healthy choices.  i intended to do all this last week but i apparently needed more time, more tears to end up where i am today.  which is exactly where i need to be.

life is constantly changing.   constantly moving.  it moves on even if we aren’t ready.  somedays this quotes makes me desperately sad. and others, like today, it comforts me.  moving forward is the only truly healthy option.

3 comments
Bethany
Bethany

I vote for giving the chickens the kale. Give yourself a break and choose some different healthy foods. Praying for you and some calm in your life!

Kelsi
Kelsi

Best idea ever!