weigh in monday. on tuesday.

yesterday i had no time for blogging.  i had my hands happily full with an adorably hilarious 6 month old.  all day.  then i had the first of my second round of pottery courses.  after three hours of throwing clay, literally, i threw it and not in a good way.  i head across town for the husband’s soccer game that didn’t start until 10pm.  (that would be bad if it were not for the 11pm(!!) start time for tonights game)
so no blogging yesterday.  then when i was looking back i realized i never did a weigh in monday last week.  sheesh!  i was clearly riding the high from hang gliding and posted that and forgot about my weigh in monday post.  
these are the numbers for the last two weeks.  i am beyond frustrated but at the same time tremendously proud of myself.  i know.  my mind is a maze of mysteries.  this past week especially, but the week before, i have done great.  the last week i went to the gym 5 of 7 days.  each day spending close to, if not more, than two hours each day.  i have started a couple of cardio aerobic classes that i am really enjoying.  a strength class.  and then i have started with a personal trainer that gives me a strength workout each week, which i then do twice during the week on my own.  i have been making smoothies everyday.  i have been feeling great.  and the weight just stays.  frustrating.
click for source.
the realization hit me this week that i won’t lose the 25 pounds i had for my goal by our jamaica trip.  i could.  but it would be very unhealthy.  my epiphany this week was that i will never been finished.  i set these goals and planned these trips because i needed short term things to motivate me.  sunday night i was having a lengthy conversation with the husband about all of this and i realized, i won’t ever be done.  i have already started planning ways to exercise while in jamaica (i.e. lots of ocean kayaking!).  my new goal is to have weigh in monday, after jamaica, and to have lost weight.  that would be amazing!  i know it is such cliche to say this a “journey” and i usually roll my eyes when i hear people refer to weight loss as that.  but it kinda is.  
people ask me what my goal weight is and when i will be done.  i don’t know.  honestly.  i know i want will get out of the 200′s.  i know i want to get a good bit away but other than that, i don’t know.  i am listening to my body.  and the thing that i realized, it doesn’t really matter what my goal weight is.  i won’t ever be done.  did i already say that?  yes.  and i will keep saying it.  i won’t ever need to stop going to the gym, i will probably in fact, always need to go.  i won’t ever not want to eat an entire box of pizza.  or carton of ice cream.  but i won’t.  i will always have to watch what i eat.  i will always have to push myself to exercise.  but over the last several months, healthy habits have formed.  this is the new me.  and although my numbers aren’t great week to week, i will happily take consistently losing 1-2 pounds per week.  there is no shame in that.
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here are my numbers:
weight loss for the 2 weeks: 3 pounds
total lost since june 2011: 65 pounds
grand total lost since 2009: 105 pounds
total lost since turning 31 (2/6/12): 21 pounds
total % bmi lost since turning 31 (2/6/12): 7.2%
total weight needed to lose for jamaica finale trip: 25 pounds to go


fun goals that are super close to reaching:

  • 8 more pounds lost and i will finally be in ONE-durland.

what i did well this week:
  • i ate really well.  the vitamix and i spend quite a bit of time together.  i love it so much.  i love that i can pile tons of fruit and vegetables, that i would never eat in one week, into one drink.  that actually tastes yummy.  who knew that grapes could be used instead of sweeteners?  this girl.
  • fresh mango and i are still best friends. 
  • i kept going to the gym.  with the introduction of weights into my routine my weight has been very slow coming off.  BUT my % of fat is going down.  i am tremendously proud that i have lost 2.2 percent in the last two weeks.  that is amazing.  it is funny actually.  i haven’t lost very much weight on the scale but my body is starting to feel so different.  my clothes are really fitting differently.  good changes are happening even if the one number on the scale isn’t.
what hurt me this week:
  • my mind.  when i get frustrated i become inactive.  i had to fight hard to head to the gym everyday.  that little voice in my head would say, “well, you lost more weight when you were just restricting calories.”  or “if you would skip dinner you will lose more weight.”  i am not skipping meals.  especially when they are a spinach and pear filled smoothie.  it was an almost daily reminder from the other side of my head and my husband that health is WAY more important than reaching the jamaica goal.  i have to get out of my head that i am a failure because i am not reaching that goal.  
  • my personal trainer.  but i am pretty sure that is what i am paying for.
click for source.

1 comments
jlp28168
jlp28168

Love this, Kelsi. I'm like you and hate admitting that I will always probably want to eat tons of bad food. I've played around with diets before and trying to eat healthier and workout, but I never stay with it long enough to actually see results. This may be because I don't HAVE to do it. And making myself do it isn't as fun or easy as sitting on my butt and stuffing my face.