{one week later}

i can’t express how appreciative i am of the support you all have expressed to me over the last week.  i felt it best to share an update with a couple of my most favorite photos.  gosh, i just love this little one in ways i didn’t even know was possible.  this week i have learned a lot about myself, as a mother, and have been so proud.  that’s right.  something people don’t often express, i was/am really proud of myself.

after a really long day last wednesday of basically pushing food, all. day. long. i realized that wasn’t the way to go.  by the end of the day i realized neither of us had had one smiling moment with each other.  he was left with a tummy ache and i was just stressed.  i had a moment that evening where i looked at g and thought, “he is fine.”  literally, he is fine.  he is happy.  he is hitting his milestones developmentally.  he isn’t stressing about his weight.  i am a hot mess and worried.  i am stressing.  he is fine.  i decided to listen to him and follow his lead.  i relaxed.

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and you know what happened, i was able to start supplying 4 ounces of breast milk, instead of the 3 i had been.  i started being able to pump again.  g stopped having angry fits at the breast.  the couple of times he seemed unhappy, i just took him off and we read a book.  i distracted him long enough for him to tell me when HE was hungry.  not when I thought he should be.  once he was hungry, he would nurse beautifully.

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this past week has looked like this.  i nurse him the same number of times as before; this keeps my supply up.  then i offer him two – four ounces of breast milk, if i have it pumped, or formula.  he takes whatever he wants.  sometimes it is the full four ounces.  sometimes no interest.  on average, he takes about two supplemental ounces.  we are all happy.  and best of all, he is gaining!  last week he was 12 pounds and 8 ounces.  one week later, 13 pounds and 1 ounce.

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when they say it takes a village to raise a child, they weren’t lying.  a quick shout out to several people that have provided tools, support, education and friendship.  my thoughtful friend caitlin sent me supplemental formula with a g’s baby gift before he was born.  she included a sweet note that said, i know you are planning on breastfeeding, but i needed a little boost and i thought i would share what worked for me.  after trying the formula that the pediatrician offered {g completely rejected it!} i remembered i had caitlin’s gift up in a cabinet.  i didn’t need to leave the house to find the exact formula that g ended up loving.  i met abby through a mutual friend and stayed in touch via facebook.  she read my blog and offered SO MUCH knowledge.  she has professional experience from working at one of the local hospitals and talked me through formula and offered suggestions about supplementation.  melissa continues to be my mama rock.  i go to her for everything.  literally, we have talked about it all.  the fact that i have any confidence in my mama skills is because i know i have her number in my back pocket.  there are countless others that have offered phone calls, emails and messages of support.  i am humbled.  i am grateful.

so one week later, we are all doing great.  i wish i had the confidence a week ago that this would be where we would be.  lesson learned.  this mama needs to listen to her baby, relax more, and have the confidence that we are all doing well.